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Submitted on
November 7, 2012
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There was once a time I could dream

I would dream every day, every hour

With the birds in the skies and the fish in the streams

But there was never a blooming flower


As I'm ageing and days grow longer,

although I can't say I'm maturing,

all my visions keep getting stronger

And they grow darker and more alluring


As fish turned into sharks and birds to hawks

The laughter of the children disappear

And all the freedom went down into locks

Dreams into fears though never she a tear


And my childhood is gone into flames

When I look back it reminds me of chains

 

i wrote this last year 1 of my very 1st poems ive ever writen what do u think? bad title i no but o well
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:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
actually I think the title is perfect
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:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
u think so?
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:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, these are some of the thoughts that go through one's head when one reflects on one's life
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:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha yah i rote this in a boring class and i reflect always
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:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
it true amazing how infinite the sources of inspiration can be
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:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha my inspiration always comes from the oddest of placeses
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:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
exactly my point
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:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
=) i love righting about my odd insperation though
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(1 Reply)
:iconpoemspoet:
PoemsPoet Nov 9, 2012  Student Writer
In the 3rd stanza, last line, should the "she" be "shed"? Because it makes me sense that way... But other than that I think this is a really good poem. : D
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:iconcandygirl101010:
candygirl101010 Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
ok thx that help lots <3
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